Honestly, I hadn’t opened the dating app in months, so I had no intention of “matching” anyone, but after seeing the post I went ahead. and deleted it completely.
If you’re single and using the popular Bumble dating app, you may have received a ping on Sunday afternoon with this message: “Help us support healthy, consensual relationships!” Today when you match, we donate to Planned Parenthood. “
Honestly, I hadn’t opened the app in months, so I had no intention of “matching” with anyone, but after seeing the post I went ahead and deleted it completely. It seemed arrogant and misguided of Bumble to assume that all of their users would be happy to donate to such a controversial organization. They weren’t about to donate on my behalf so I could “correspond” with a guy from Long Island who loves kayaking and works in finance.
Bumble’s daring to use Sexual Assault Awareness Month (April) to send a message encouraging users to open the app and start swiping is bad enough. The new arrogance strike assuming all of their users would like more money to be given to Planned Parenthood was just plain offensive.
In fact, Planned Parenthood has recently partnered with most of the popular dating apps, including Grindr, OkCupid, and Hornet, under the guise of promoting sex education to the masses. Their explanation is that the current federal government promotes “abstinence-only” sex education causes, so they feel compelled to step in and save the day by educating everyone through dating apps.
The apps themselves admit that they support a culture of “hanging up”, in which the issue of consent can constantly be questioned. Bumble supports the acronym “FRIES” which describes consent as: freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic and specific.
Personally, I’ve never been very excited about finding a date through an app, but if “FRIES” doesn’t turn you off forever, I don’t know what will. Planned Parenthood doesn’t believe that you can have a healthy relationship if you don’t have sex. At the same time, they want you to know that every act of sex has the very high potential of being some kind of assault. How can you look at each adjective in “FRIES” and say with 100% certainty that your partner felt all of these words applied to your sex relationship?
Personally, I hardly use the apps because in my experience a lot of men use them to find women for sex. I met a few guys who were really looking for a relationship, but it’s not possible to determine compatibility with a few carefully framed photos and random notes on lives and careers.
Nowadays, many people find their future spouse through a website or an app. It doesn’t seem fair that the app itself becomes political. In the dating world, it’s already very hard to walk the water of politics when you first meet someone, but Planned Parenthood is the very last organization I want to partner with looking for the courage to consult. Internet for a potential partner.